Long Beach has always held a special place in my heart. I went to school here as a child and when my mom moved my family away (for the final time) in the middle of high school, I was devastated. I am not even sure that is a strong enough word. Depression definitely set in for a while after that. I had very strong relationships here and my parental connections were extremely shaky so my friends were my family.
So when my husband and I bought a condo in Long Beach just before we got married, it was sort of like returning home and I felt at home again.
I knew this was not the city I wanted for my family long term and having a child like mine that needs space outdoors to RUN, the feeling of wanting to move away from here became stronger and stronger.
And now it is happening...
But those feelings from childhood are streaming back to me. My husband and I were talking about all the wonderful memories we have in our first home and all the things we will miss about this city we called home.
Things that made the list: Walking to all our favorite restaurants, taking the bus to the Queen Mary (or anywhere for that matter), being a block from concerts in the park, fireworks on the fourth, and the beach bike path that leads us to shoreline village or Belmont shore in just minutes.
And then of course, the memories in our condo include seeing that positive pregnancy test, talking about our child, picking out his name, laboring together in the wee hours of the morning to bring our baby into this world, bringing our little boy home here, watching him crawl and take his first steps.
And then there are the people, those tears have been right at the surface all week. We have so many people we love here, we even have doctors we adore. How do I do this again? How do I leave all those people who support me and my crazy ideas and move to a place where I know NOBODY.
This sadness is compounded by the fact that my son has made very strong connections here. People who love and adore him and that he loves and adores. So I feel in a way I am the one pulling him away now. Kind of ironic.
So all I can do is hope we have made the best decision for us as a family. I know every time Elijah asks for his friends there I will cry. I think we will all spend some time lonely and sad there for a while.
Thank you to Long Beach, NHBCNS, our birthing center, our doctors, and all those wonderful people we love so much.
Thank you for the memories. You have made our time here unbelievable!
I know just how you feel, Tracy, as I also was pulled from the LBC as a kid... a couple of times... and returning here has felt like home to me, too. Good luck to the three of you! One thing I learned (and I hope my kids have learned from all the moving we did over the past couple of years)... where your family is, where your HEART is... that is home.
ReplyDeleteWith my boys I called it an adventure, we're going to meet new friends and have a new place to explore. They were 9, 7 & 3.5 yrs. at the time so the impact was greater than Elijah's will be. And yes, they did make new friends (from all over the world) and explored the area (especially the 4yr.old (the escapee I called him)...he once took five 3/4 yr. olds out of the student housing complex and tried to get onto a city bus!)
ReplyDeleteAs long as Mommy & Daddy are near he'll feel secure no matter where he is. And with those wide open fields that are just waiting for a little boy to run around and lots of new friends he'll not even remember Long Beach!
Like Elana says, "where your family is, where your heart is...that is home".
Enjoy the adventure!