Monday, April 26, 2010
I am very lucky to have a huge group of friends to look towards for support in my parenting philosophy because when you group all the things I believe together it equals a way of parenting that is not all that common.
That being said, I (along with most of my friends) have lots of mainstream voices in my head. These voices are people whom I love and appreciate, but whom really do not understand why Josh and I make the decisions we do for Elijah. Some of them do not even try to understand our decisions, yet offer their advice or comments all too frequently.
The area where I am feeling the most pressure lately is in leaving Elijah. As he gets older (yes, he is the ripe old age of 12 months now), the pressure increases. Others want to babysit him or in their words give me time off. I genuinely appreciate this gesture as being a mama is exhausting as we all know, but I am not ready and neither is he.
My neighbor keeps making comments to me that basically amount to the fact that I will never leave him and he is just a big mama's boy. I think even a few months ago these comments affected me more than they do now. The reason is Elijah. He teaches me. Over the many years of watching other parents with their children, watching the ways other parents left their children (some for the first time in my care); I realized that one of the biggest hurdles parents have is trusting their children. I always told myself I would trust my child, that he knows what he needs. I learned this first from the famous Bev Bos and second from seeing it ring true time after time with the children in my care.
Still, once I had a baby so many doubts came back. I had learned enough times and it made sense to me the value in responding to a babies cry, but I doubted myself when Elijah only wanted to nurse to sleep. The fears overtakes you. Won't I make him dependent on nursing to sleep, I thought. And now with leaving him, he is VERY attached to mommy and for a while daddy would never do, but slowly Daddy, Grandma, and even Grandpa are starting to be wonderful "meeters of needs" also. With time, he was ready, ready to trust other people in his life. Of course for the first nine months, he only wanted me. I mean he had spent more of his life inside my body than out. His only food came from me. It made sense. I just needed to see the relationship with his daddy begin to develop and then I was reminded that if I trust him, he will do it when he is ready.
Now, he stays with Daddy while I run errands and while no one else will do when he is tired, hungry, hurt, or scared, one day that will change. I plan to enjoy it while it lasts.
I pledge to continue trusting Elijah when I am not sure, he will guide us.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
In the past few catalogs I have received from this company (I assume simply because I gave birth to a child), I have seen this advertisement for a "ThumbGuard".
It has made me made me laugh, made me angry, and made me cry. Until finally, it made me write.
It makes me laugh because the pure thought of someone paying for this seems so absurd. Can you really imagine having your child walking around with this on their hand? Can you imagine the child or the parent explaining it? It also makes me laugh to think that this company thought this was a good item to carry. Ok...I guess the laughing is not all that genuine.
It makes me angry for all the reasons above and because it is just rude and disrespectful to do something like strap a piece of hard plastic to a child in order to stop them from doing the one thing that brings them the most comfort. Yet, a single dentist can design this and many other doctors can place fear in parents over what could happen to a child's teeth, and parents line up to pay seventy-five whopping dollars to destroy a little piece of their child's spirit.
It makes me cry for all the reasons above, and because I can picture being that child scared, sad, tired, or in this case... humiliated to save her from an overbite. Who is she gonna go to for comfort? The parent who bought this for her? I think not.
For those who are left with the question in their minds of how to stop a thumb sucker then, I say to you:
Therapy is way more expensive than orthodontics.