Thursday, September 22, 2011

Settling in?

How are you settling in? The question I get asked most often now by our new neighbors and our friends we left behind. I'm not quite sure how to answer that because it really depends on the moment.

We have a lot to adjust too:
Josh has a new job, with new classes he has never taught before, he works more now because it is a boarding school and you have to be on duty, sometimes until 11pm.

E has gone from eating almost every meal with just me and Josh to eating every meal with 200 people. My child is not one who does well with noise and chaos to say the least and there are frequent outbursts of high pitched screaming that ensue.

I have gone from having a ton of friends I never could spend enough time with to having none. NONE.

I am filling our days with lots of rhythm and exploring our beautiful surroundings and it helps. There are times I look out my bedroom window and see the hills covered with white split rail fences, horses grazing under the oak trees and I think this was the right decision.

And then there are the days when all I want to do is see one of my friends, one that truly understands me and doesn't think I am a freak for cloth diapering or nursing my two year old, or even less being a stay at home mom.

I have to tell you that the hardships of this move have come down to frequency. Those we saw most frequently and the things we did most often are what we miss the most.

E misses Elias, Lala, Baby Charlie and Monty, and the farmers market.

I miss my playgroup, all the kids and amazing mamas there and if I am to be completely honest, I miss my friend Francesca. I feel like I have done something wrong by leaving her. Is that strange? Anyone who is lucky enough to have her for a friend as well probably knows a bit of what I mean. We have only been friends for a year, but we saw each other many times a week. We were the only ones each other fully trusted with the care of our children, and we knew all that was happening in each others lives living less than half a mile apart. But I know it is more than that. Proximity alone cannot build the bond we did in such a short time. I cannot read the book she gave to Elijah and I when we left without tears flowing... still... 2 months later.

Well, there are more obstacles to our adjusting fully, organic eating, less money, no doctors or midwives we cherish, we even miss our loud quirky neighbors. And we are saddened by the relationships that are not staying in touch, those we know are going to disappear for one reason or another.

So now I will go back to focusing on the parts we love about being here as I try to do each and everyday we are here, but I needed to get this out to all of you.

You are missed with all our selves. Come visit!


  1. The beautiful thing with life is that you have choices. Give it a chance and if things don't work out take another path. Nobody faults you for trying to create a new life for your family. We love you guys!

  2. Hang in there, you'll meet people who you will also just haven't run into each other yet. Until then you still have your LB friends. Maybe a visit is needed to refresh your batteries.
    I know what it is like to be a newbie except I didn't want to moveto this area of the city-or back to this city at that. Employment required it. I still miss our last place-and it has been 14yrs! The pain isn't as acute as it was.
    We have to bloom where we're planted. Sometimes the soil needs extra working but it is worth it. Time to start up a playgroup! Or join one. There has to be tiny tykes SOMEWHERE around there! And with moms who know it is worth it to stay home (at least most of the time).
    Hang in there and take out the trowel to work the ground... :o)