Monday, August 16, 2010
The burden of parenthood....
Everybody who is a parent understands the pure joy of having a child in their lives. The joys of parenthood are discussed openly and are undeniable. Being that it is so unbelievably wonderful (most of the time), it makes my particular burden so bearable.
This post is not meant to be a negative whining account of parenthood, but simply an acknowledgment of something I struggle with everyday.
What is this burden I speak of?
It looks something like the following stream of thoughts that run through my head:
"Elijah is not eating ALL of the food I have put in front of him, has he changed his mind about liking all these healthy foods?"
"We didn't read today, I'm not creating a lover of books!"
"I got frustrated and snapped at his daddy. I am such a bad example of a happy marriage."
"Elijah isn't being exposed to enough ________ (animals, nature, music, etc...)"
"I walked past that piece of trash without picking it up. Elijah will never be kind to the Earth!"
This endless desire to be the best mother I can turns itself into a negative stream of thoughts a lot of the time. Thoughts that do not help me or Elijah and most of the time leave me frustrated.
This is my burden: to be the best I can without worrying so much and to remember that Elijah needs me present in each moment so that his memories will be filled with happy times with his mama.
This is the most important thing I can do for him.